Game of Thrones XV

Monday, May 20, 2019    

There has been plenty of talent in the seven kingdoms over the past few years, but the team has been cut down to a match-day twenty-three.

1. Sandor "The Hound" Clegane: Big ball runner, doesn't like to play in the heat. Suffered eye injury late last week, might have “fallen” out of contention.

2. Podric Payne:  Recently promoted to Ser Podric. Loyal.

3. Gregor Clegane: Constantly plays through injuries, not sure if he can play through the latest one.

4. Wun Wun: Reliable lineout option, head in the clouds.

5. Kahl Drogo: Promising signing from Essos. Bad comms, rides horse to training. History with number twenty.

6. Tormund Giantsbane: Models game off Blues blindside flanker. Good signing from beyond the wall. Always wanting to link up with number eight.

7. Jorah Mormont: Sucker for love. Absolute battler, 340 starts for the clubs B team. Finally got his shot in the top side but dropped straight after. In doubt for next season.

8. Brienne of Tarth: Best player on the team, runs into anything. Always plays by the rules. Recently promoted to the leadership team.

9. Arya Stark: Lives for the big play moments. Can pass well from both hands. Can play many positions. Still looks 14, long list of rivals.  Signed overseas for next season.

10. Jon Snow: Injury ruled him out of 2016 season. Made a “surprise” comeback but everyone saw it coming. Knows nothing about game plan. Should have been captain but turned it down. Moved to the countryside to hang out with his dog.

11. Gendry: Recently promoted to leadership team, thought it would help get the girl of his dreams. Didn’t.

12. Jamie Lannister: Was thought to be a key signing for the season. Terrible at passing to the left. Moved back home for family reasons, not expected to return.

13. Bron: Finally signed the deal of his life, promoted to club treasurer.

14. Grey Worm: Winger that always wears headgear. Fearless in contact and doesn’t mind playing dirty if it’s what the coach asks. Unsullied.

15. Drogon: Obvious selection. Recent family troubles, great under the high ball, can fly up the field. Brutal in the final match of the season but left the country not long after.

16. Sam Tarley: Great game knowledge but poor game execution. Only good for 10 minutes. Gets out of beep test every year.

17. Liana Mormont: Suffered broken everything in tackle against sizeable opponent. Always answers the call, good pre-match speech. Fan favourite.

18. Beric Dondarrion: Left the team multiple times but got the call up seven seasons in a row from higher up.

19. Sansa Stark: Tall. Great strategic player though argumentative. Offered big contract up north.

20. Daenerys Targaryen: Used to be fan favourite but got too competitive. Rides off the success of Drogon and claimed she was rightful captain. Close family. Dad is rugby mad.

21. Tyrion Lannister: Size an issue. Only there for strategy. walked out on former club after big controversy. Hates his dad. Remarkably still vice-captain.

22. Theon Greyjoy: Spotty career and up and down form over the past few seasons. Took heavy hit couple of weeks ago, in doubt for next season. Respect. 

23. Ghost: Sat on side-line for 3 seasons because everyone thought he had left club even though he was in every team photo.

Coach - Ned Stark: Great leader with a rich history in the team, hasn’t been turning up lately.

Club Captain - Bran Stark: Knows more than he lets on, doesn’t share till after the match. Voted to be club captain without any effort. Hasn’t taken to the field since 2011.

Nutritionist - Hot Pie: Always got a fresh pie for the team. Cooks a good feed.